My sister is going through a detox and I guess we must be on the same schedule. This is my second "plumbing" detox, and this time around I opted for the $7.00 version from Target.
The first one I used was a product from Dr. Schulze's for $60.00 plus $9.00 shipping. I have never crapped so expensively before. The amazing thing is, my crap smelled like 70 dollar crap, and of course it didn't stink.
I am on day 4 of the 7 day roto rooter routine and I must say I feel great. To be fair, you can do a detox all on your own and pay nothing, but I like putting strange things down my pie hole. I have willingly pounded down high fructose corn syrup, MSG, partially and fully hydrogenated oils, refined flour, refined sugar, copious amounts of animal flesh, untold numbers of foods fried in God only knows what, nitrogens, sulfides, chlorine, bromine, phenylalanine, and the list goes on. So downing a glass of green stuff in the morning that tastes a little like orange juice and feels a lot like watered down cream of wheat for 7 days is the least I can do. The pills in the afternoon and evening are a piece of cake, well actually they are a piece of yak hair or something, but easy to deal with.
This system, unlike the $70.00 version, has an interesting side effect on me. I can actually feel my BOWELS churning. Incidentally, you must always raise your voice when saying BOWELS, it is a word that is best said really loud. Man, what a sweet word picture, "churning bowels". Anyway, it is a strange sensation, not uncomfortable, but a little annoying. It feels like squirrels are chasing each other up my ascending colon, running across my transverse colon and making the loop back down the descending, and back up. They do this for a few minutes, settle down, and go at it again.
This churning happens for a little while before the big "pay off" if you know what I mean.
Poop, if you don't.
After the business is over, all is quiet on the BOWEL front until the next round of powder and pills.
Pooping is one of those "questions" I have for God. I guess from an efficiency standpoint the whole eating stuff, breaking it down into essential elements and elimination is brilliant, but I have a problem with the mechanics of it, specifically the event of elimination. It just seems so, I duno, vulnerable.
Perhaps that is the plan. Take any person you hold in high regard, place them on a toilet making stinky, and all things are suddenly equal.
At the end of the day we all look the same from the perspective of the toilet.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Hello my fellow detoxer!
How odd that you started a detox about the same time that we did. Scary! States away and thinking alike. :) That is a great analogy on the squirles ... we get that around these parts too. Ha. We aren't doing the million dollar detox, but we are doing a similar one. There is a great older (like late 70's I think) lady that has been trained in this stuff since the very begining and so we get our stuff from her. We are going to do colonics on Monday ... yuck. I don't think that I will be posting about that. I had one last Oct. and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, as long as I didn't think about what was really happening. That is really cleaning out your insides ... pumping gallons of water through your colon will do that. Ha.
Thanks for your post! I can't bring myself to go into the details but I am glad that you can. :)
Happy flushing. Oh that is funny ... more then one meaning and all. Ha.
Do you have a dog to walk? I do and I swear, when dogs do their business, right out in the open, in public, they look around as if they're embarrassed. I look away; I can't stand to look at them. I just can't shame my dog that way. Too much.
Anyway, thanks for the link! Love your blog.
Steph: Yea - let's not talk about this ever again. :)
Dr. David: I tried the dog thing once, but promptly found out we are cat people. I understand completely about giving the dog their "space". Although sometimes I will make grunting noises (out of ear-shot of the poor beast) for the benefit of whomever is with me if we see the event.
Anything for a laugh.
And to make matters worse, people pick it up and carry it around back to the house like a warm squishy trophy.
Pooping is just so wrong.
Post a Comment