Where the road leads next

I live in peanut country.

They have many other names like goober pea, monkey nut, groundnut, and earthnut.

I call them "eat me and have the worst night sleep of your life."

I have been acutely aware that goobers and I have not been getting along lately, but confirmed last night the monkey nut wants to kill me. I remember suffering from sleep apnea last night. It has not been a problem for a while, but last night was a bad night. My wife screaming at the top of her lungs at 2 AM didn't help matters either.

It doesn't happen often, but every once in a while my sweetie will start screaming in her sleep. There is nothing worse than waking up that way. A close second is when our kids stand at the side of the bed and stare us to consciousness. We have since told them to knock on the door, as waking up to a ghostly shape in front of you is really mean even if you think you are being polite.

Last nights scream didn't even sound like my wife, it was very high and very shrill and thankfully very short. There are some nights that I have to wake her up out of her dream but last night she woke herself up after one yelp. I asked her what happened, but she had no clue. Perhaps she has a form of nighttime tourettes.

The bigger issue for me was once I was awake it felt as if my throat was closing in on itself. When this happens to me it makes it increasingly difficult to breath. For the next few hours I would fall asleep and wake up. I wasn't gasping for air, but I could tell my oxygen level was not good.

Needless to say I woke up this morning with a headache and feeling like I had been hit by a truck. It dawned on me that I had eaten a fair share of earthnuts the night before and suddenly remembered "hey you are allergic to legumes"!?

I can hardly wait for the bowel cramping.

I figure my wife's screaming last night was God's way of waking me up before I suffocated in my own histamines.

No more groundnut for this boy.